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We had another long overdue First Class meeting today. The 15 or so, out of over 45, firsts classes that show up to all the meetings were there as usual. The topics were fund raising ideas, and uses for the said funds. I’m convinced that no one really wants to raise any money on this base, and instead just wants to throw some half-assed idea together to make others believe they’re accomplishing something. Seriously though, can’t anyone think of anything better than a car wash? Do you know how many times I’ve driven on base, with my filthy ass car, and just completely passed all the people trying to detour me through their car wash fundraiser? Too many to count.

It’s not that I don’t want to help out, it’s just I could go to the car wash for my car wash. At least there I wouldn’t have to worry about people washing my car with dirty water and used rags. Another idea, which must be a staple of fund raising, was the food on the pier idea. Whether it’s hot dogs and burgers or something else, too many people have done it, and not enough people are willing to buy an overpriced burger when McDonald’s is right down the street. Someone brought up the suggestion of patches, which wasn’t well received. The custom patches are going to cost $5,000 just to make. Sure they’d look cool on an 80’s acid-washed denim jacket with “Born to be Wild” on the back, but I don’t think we’re going to be able to sell more than a handful, which could be a big financial loss to our small organization.

I wasn’t much help at the meeting, since I woke up as soon as they passed the word. However, I think our fund raising ideas could be a little better than the boring stuff we normally do. Here are some of the ideas I proposed to the group via a follow-up e-mail.

1. Blind Auction - Basically we offer two cool prizes, like a laptop and an iPod touch. Additionally, we offer about eight more not so cool prizes, like gift certificates and whatnot. Each item is put in a plain brown box, which could be weighed down or modified to through people off. With no one knowing what box contains what, we start auctioning each box off, one at a time. I think the desire to get the expensive prizes for a relatively cheap price will cause people to bid higher.
2. Reverse Raffle - I know this one sounds a little lame, but I think it could work. At some command event, give everyone a raffle ticket with a unique number. There’s a lists of tasks or rewards that people will be eligible to receive, all of which aren’t something they’d necessarily want, like crank for a day. The raffle holders can then take their chances with getting picked, or sell the ticket back for a set price, like $5. Not too sure how it would work, but I think it would be worth a shot.
3. Smashing a Car - This is a weird one, I know. I was able to do this in high school, and it’s actually pretty fun. Since so many people sell their cars for dirt cheap when they transfer, we could buy a junker to pound into oblivion. After working out all the safety stuff and getting the permission from the right people, we could charge people to take a few whacks at it with a sledge hammer. I think this is a good idea, because it could include people from all over the base, vice the local command. I’m not sure how well it would go over with the base safety officer, however.
4. Kickball Tournament - Last year, our team took the Captain’s Cup trophy in the base kickball tournament. I’m not going to say I was the MVP, buuuut I think I was. It’s a game that everyone can play, and I think the nostalgia aspect would get a lot of people involved. I figure we can do this locally, letting the various ship’s divisions buy-in their team. At the event we can also offer hotdogs or other refreshments to bump up our sales
5. Bagging at the Commissary - This is an easy one, and I believe it’s been done a few times on base. Still, it’s better than a car wash. We get the commissary to allow us to bag customer’s groceries, all while accepting donations. I’m sure we can guilt enough shoppers into fattening our coffers.
6. Topless Car wash - This is actually my favorite so far. Instead of the normal car wash offered on base, we spice things up a little. Have the car wash area concealed behind a building, so passersby can’t see all the wet hot action. We can have a few of our more attractive volunteers holding “Free Topless Car wash! Adults Only! (Since no one underage drives on base anyway)” to convince drivers to stop. One the horndogs men drive their car around back, we tell them we’ll wash the bottom part of the car for free, and we’ll only wash the car for a donation.

In addition to raising the funds, we’re still trying to figure out what we could use the finds for. of course, everyone wants to throw a party of picnic, but that’s just a waste of time. Everyone knows the majority of the crew doesn’t want to go to a picnic or party. Instead, they’ll leave work early to go to the picnic, hang around for a couple minutes to make sure everyone saw them, and then roll out. Though, someone did bring up the awesome idea of a “Sailor Relief Fund” to help Sailors who may be strapped for cash in a time of need or emergency. Personally, I think that should be our primary goal to work towards. Sure we have the Navy & Marine Corps Relief Society, but they can’t help with everything. Giving an interest free-loan, or even purchasing a plane ticket for someone’s emergency leave would be much more fulfilling than another circle-jerk of a party.

Something I plan on suggesting is a drunk ride program. A while ago, the ship played with the idea of using the MWR van to pick up drunk Sailors and take them to the ship, but it never materialized. I know the Air Force out here also has a 225-RIDE program which is largely publicized, and I’m sure it’s been a success. Being a driver, I wouldn’t mind giving up a Friday or Saturday night being available to drive some drunk shipmates to their homes. Since courtesy turnovers (CTOs) are no longer just a courtesy out here, and are instead a direct route to Captain’s Mast, I’d rather drive some drunk Sailors home, instead of the MAAs. I don’t think it would cost too much to run either. We’d just need a cell-phone, so there’s one reliable number, and gas money. I think the biggest problem with this idea, however, is the lack of volunteers I assume we’d get from my fell Firsts.

So, help us out here. Have you seen any fund raisers that you just thought were so unique, that you had to participate in, or donate to? What are some ideas that your ship or command has implemented, that ultimately made things easier or better for the junior guys?