“A woman’s life is love a man’s love is life.”
-Little Brother

I’ll Lover her because she is in my life, but I won’t give up the rest of my life for her knowing that going to the club or a “buy me drink” girl bar with the guys will end our relationship. It’s definitely all about trust.

I agree this is mostly selfish. In the end, I think both men and women use phrases like “time apart”, “take a break”, and “see other people”.

It’s the language of our time. It doesn’t seem like anybody ever “breaks up” anymore unless they have some crazy kind of fall out. The fact is, nobody wants to say, “You’re a nice person, I’m glad we had some time together, but really, I’d like to get away from you. I don’t want you calling me everyday for the next month telling me how much pain you’re in. Also, I REALLY don’t ever want us to get together in the future to share our personal newsletters over coffee so we can see whose life is happier.”

So we take breaks and have time apart. We deal with the phone calls and apologize for the things we’re not really sorry for. I know it’s hard…but c’mon, clean breaks are the best. Yeah, it hurts like a sonofabitch, but I’d rather be kicked in the balls once then have my teeth drilled everyday for weeks on end while “the girl I used to know” alludes to the guys she’s fucked during Time Intermittent.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a “mutual” split. Someone’s always the asshole. I don’t know if anyone can change this. Now and again, I hear the line “my ex is my best friend”, but I’ve just never seen it. It’s like Bigfoot, Flying Saucers and Non-Stick Cookware to me. Every time I hear someone pull that line, I always want to ask “Does your ex know about this?”

Our country has lost touch with what marrage, and a relationship is about.

You’re absolutely right. Blaming the Navy for a spouse cheating is a total cop out. That could be said for the deployed sailor and the spouse at home. I’ve known women who become bitter about their husbands always being gone and then cheat, just as much as I’ve known about men cheating on their wives while they’re gone.
It’s not something that I choose to do, and I trust my sweetheart not to make that choice either. Should something like that arise in the future, I won’t sit there and assume that he is a lemming with no self-control just so I can feel better. It’s an individual’s choice.

Some call it being a man, but it is really selfish. Being in the Navy I see it a lot especially with these GeoBachelors in Japan. I for one am in my late 20’s and refuse to get married unless I can give my full attention to my wife.

If more people were honest with themselves like you, the divorce rates wouldn’t be what they are. Although single life is fun, please don’t assume that all married folks who have children have somehow stopped living.
There are some rare cases lol

Thank you for your post. It’s been very interesting to read all of the posts from other readers as well. I really do believe that this post has help me with my decision. I ended the situation with my fellow sailor. I explained to him that we should go our separate ways and end on nice terms with no friendship or relationship strings attached. I lost a friend of 15 years but it was well worth it because I can now sleep at night. I think that no matter what, whether if you’re in armed forces or just a civilian you should not date a best friend and then just settle back at being friends because it leaves you confused. It’s best to cut all ends. It hurts to let a best friend and boyfriend go but when someone is so indecisive and confused then maybe it wasn’t meant to be in the first place. Also, I wish everyone in the navy safety and best of luck.

Mary-Beth

That pretty much sums up how us guy feel. Most men especially military men want to have stability ie a wife and kids, but with it comes the double edge sword of also wanting a experience life. How do you have a wife and kid, but also experience life? Cheating on their wives is the way that most men can get both. Some call it being a man, but it is really selfish. Being in the Navy I see it a lot especially with these GeoBachelors in Japan. I for one am in my late 20’s and refuse to get married unless I can give my full attention to my wife. Since now I have a taste for different women and experiences that is not possible. Some can call me immature/the heartbreaker, but at least I am honest. Sure love has knocked on my door a few times but my office hours are between the ages of 30 and 35.

[ Instead, he pulls the “I think we need some time apart.” If you don’t already know, that translates to “I want to bang other chicks without having to worry about hurting you” in guy talk. ]

While I understand where a man can think that it is best to split up while he’s banging other chicks, it must be known that it doesn’t make it any more painless for the woman he’s splitting with if she were to find out that he was banging other broads. What splitting up really does it make it easier for the guy to go out and bang other chicks with little or no guilt. I think it’s unfair to say that the man does it for the woman, because I don’t believe he does, I believe he does it for his own conscious. i just had to let that be known.