FEWL.NET

Dave is a 31 year old Petty Officer 2nd Class originally from New York, which he affectionately refers to as the Terrorist State. He’s a right-wing Libertarian (he explains this as “I want guns everywhere, but no pot.”) who has an unhealthy obsession with keeping Hillary out of office. His vocabulary consists mainly of 1960’s era one-liners and expletives beginning with CU and ending in NT. His one fantasy is to make love bang two women at once, and he refuses to pay for it. He thinks all people from California are homos and or hippies, and he likes his women barefoot and pregnant. I proudly present to you, the wisdom of Dave.

Dave’s topic is on: Smoking.

Smoking on private property in the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is a freedom that has gone the same way as diversity of opinion on college campuses. Translation IT IS ILLEGAL TO SMOKE IN A BAR, POOLHALL, RESTAURANT, BOWLING ALLEY, STADIUM, and places that I have been known to help put young women through college STRIPJOINTS! Most states including Sopranos (tax toilet paper, $20 billion in the red raise spending) such as New Jersey have made it illegal to smoke in those places. Why?!! The usual emotional response is that it harms public health. Common sense says if you do not like the smoke in a poolhall, restaurant, bar, then you go to one that offers soybeans with tofu and non-smoking. It is that simple. The law of supply and demand simply is that the customer is one to be made happy, and if not they will take their business elsewhere. However, when one proposes laws for a legal product (that is taxed to the moon, which is then spent for everything but homeless cancer patients dying in public hospitals) most people can not say anything other than it is the health of the customer. Bullshit!! I say since when did the public have the right to dictate policy of a legal product in an establishment owned by people paying taxes, paying bills, employing people (hopefully American citizens) and trying to end the week in the black not the red (for tax and spend bleeding hearts that means not in debt, and perish the thought having a profit). The customer is always right. Good idea. Why not ask the people in a bar at 9 at night if they are for or against smoking IN THE BAR. For those not taking their car to smash into a 5 miles-to-the-gallon Chevy suburban with a family ( oh I don’t want to be judgmental, I meant to say a unit of guardianship with juveniles to be raised by big brother) the rest of the Kennedyesque (well not quite they are not convicted sex offenders) drinkers will say they are for the right to smoke, as well as the owner WHO IS TRYING TO STAY IN THE BLACK. The average joe, interviewed by some treehumper educated in the northeast, usually does not vote and is not thinking about the application of law in a country founded on freedom . I would say the average joe is thinking about how hot the reportette looks (including women too, I do not want to be labeled Judgemental) and usually says something to have the encounter pay off with the potential for another. In AMERICA you are granted life, the PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS, and most important LIBERTY!!!

Smoking is deadly, stupid, dirty and after drinking beer is the second surest way of wasting your money. However it is legal. More important if smoking is as dangerous as people always whine about, then why not ban it. The reason is that there is too much tax revenue generated by smoking to make it illegal. Suck it up cockfags. Admit it the reason you won’t ban it is because of the tax revenue. What would you replace it with more alcohol taxes. Give me a break, even ALL OF THE KENNEDYS would sober up and go back to coke. The giant pool of tobacco tax money is then used to help fund save some unknown species whose extinction will not fuck up the ecology, or fund homeless heroin addicts get their methodone, or the coup de gras the brown shirt informANT programs. You know the ones where teenage kids who appear to be over the age of 18 are intentionally sent around to go into stores and see if they can get the clerk or other customers to help them buy cigarettes. Police have other jobs to do that are urgent rather than arresting a circumferentially challenged (fat) follicly challenged (bald) middle-aged clerk whose crime was doing nothing more than giving a pack of smokes to some kid wearing a Wheezer t-shirt, some gate way drug, people should lighten up or maybe LIGHT UP. The tax money collected by smokers is claimed to be used to get kids off of tobacco, help pay for lung cancer patients, and advertising against smoking (hopefully on recycled paper). The reality is that it is used for every other pork project.

So back to smoking in private property, I mean PUBLIC SPACES. This is the legalese way of saying ha ha, it is open to the public so we can restrict your right to consume a legal product on your property. Again bullshit. In today’s society it is hip to be antismoking, although I am unhip and am an occassional smoker, but I do not accept this argument. If you do not like my cigar smoke (as happened in a poolhall of all places in Pensacola) then leave, or open your own poohall with no smoking where all proceeds go to fund the greenpeace brigade. It is quite a feat to sink a ball with a cloud of smoke blocking sight of the pocket.
The most important argument for or against smoking that no one considers is the point of view of the owner (s). It is their establishment. If you and your commie cocksucking ilk don’t like it then leave. If enough of your heretics leave and business drops then the owner will do the pragmatic thing and accomodate the customer. Smoking filter units are at this time too expensive for the average business to buy and the idea that they need to buy one is extortion. , but not at the end of stiff fines and informant hotlines. Speaking of hotlines there actually is one in Arizona, where people can leave anonymous phonecall messages informing on businesses that do not enforce or look away at the ban being violated. I am sure that Barry Goldwater is spinning in his grave as hundreds of thousands of fucking ILLEGAL ALIENS piss all over his great state and our soverignty!! Illegal aliens or smoking in a bar (or other private establishment) you tell me what is urgent for police intervention. In bezerkely or Harvard if it is tobacco smoke it is taboo, although all other types or plants are encouraged even for minors.

If you don’t like smoking in bars go to another one there are plenty that offer non-smoking than those that offer smoking. If you do not like smoking in restaurants, then go to your vegan deluxe (and then hit the mcdonalds on the way home). Admit it smoking is legal. If you don’t like it then make your own business and then if I don’t like it I will take my fatass and smoke elsewhere. Live free or die do not be sanctimonious.

In conclusion, don’t forget to vote, oh yeah your too busy watching reality tv, that is why your side of the argument is emotional. You are too busy being entertained than to think for yourselves. Got to go. Kill em all let God sort em out!!!!! — Dave

Jim’s note: I swear to God he’s a real person. If you think this post is awesome, imagine working with the guy everyday and hearing this shit all the time. It’s guys like him, who are so over the top, that make the Navy awesome. Look out for more of Dave in the future.